Fascinating Facts from the Comm Department

Research in relational communication suggests the following:

--The one spatial task in which women are superior to men is finding things directly in front of them.

--The amount of sex had in a relationship depends on the number of men in it.

--Family nudity during childhood is associated with less discomfort about sex and more comfort with physical affection, especially for boys, less adolescent sexual activity for both boys and girls, but a greater tendency to have casual sex for both males and females as adults.

--Women consistently prefer brighter colored, slightly more provocative clothing while ovulating.

--While ovulating, women are more attracted to men who exhibit creative intelligence more so than wealth (what they're attracted to the rest of the month).

--Intimate couples show high levels of coordinated movement, called body synchrony.

--People who have a secure attachment style (people who are comfortable both alone and in relationships, who seldom worry about abandonment) triumph in nightmares more frequently than do people with avoidant or anxious ambivalent attachment styles.

--When a couple argues and one or both people exhibit a sharp increase in physiological response that stays elevated during and after the fight, that couple is highly likely to get divorced within 5 years of their participation in the study.

--Across cultures, women are attracted to men with a strong jawline, broad shoulders, and a particular waist-to-hip ratio. Men are attracted to a soft jawline and an hourglass figure. Both sexes value body and facial symmetry, body proportionality, physical fitness and an athletic build in dating partners. This is because all of us want to make babies and spread our genes. Survival of the fittest.

--And here's one that you've probably never thought about: your relationship with your siblings is likely the longest lasting relationship you will have in your lifetime.

Spring Break

This is where I spent my first day of Spring Break. No, it's not an exciting San Diego landmark. It's not in Balboa Park, it's not a museum, and it's not buzzing with people and strange smells. At least not today. It's the San Diego State library. Usually it is crowded with undergraduates sleeping on oversized chairs, sofas, ottomans, or the floor, smelling like whatever happened to them the night before. Today, though, the only people around were the maintenance crew, my friends at the reference desk, and the occasional graduate student.

Why would I be there on a beautiful San Diego spring day? I'm working on a paper, of course. What else would you do over Spring Break, after all, but catch up on work that should have been progressing throughout the last 4 weeks? The paper is a thrilling one (drumroll!): examining a rhetoric of blame, shame, and mercy through ontological and axiological assumptions in the "To Wives" chapter of the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book. What? I'd explain it, but I'm going to need 30 pages or so to do it. Manuscript available upon request. (Cue impish grin.)

Instead of the dusty librarians, I would have liked to have been hanging out with this guy at the SD Zoo, doing exactly what he's doing. He's brewing some good ideas about ontology. You can just tell.

Recessipe

There is really one food that brings me more comfort than any other. Mom's homemade mac and cheese. I have dreams of it in which a huge, smiling casserole dish saves the world from stress and evil. Comfort food varies for everyone, of course. For Carlos, a huge bowl of pozole with lime and cabbage at 10:00am beats out any of that cheesy pasta junk. But I don't care. I'll cook it anyway. It's perfect served up with a dark leafy green (southern style). I found some organic broccoli leaf at my local farmer's market and sauteed the whole bunch with a little olive oil and salt last week. The light bitterness is the perfect complement to the creaminess of the mac and cheese.

Mom's Mac and Cheese

8oz elbow macaroni (I used medium sized shells last week)
1/4 c. butter
1/4 c. flour
1/2 t. salt
1 t. onion powder
1 t dry mustard (adjust to taste)
1/4 t. white pepper
1/8-1/4 t. hot pepper sauce (Tabasco, Tapatio, Cholula preferred)
2 1/2 c. milk
2 c. shredded sharp Cheddar cheese

1) Cook macaroni as directed on package. Drain. Pam spray 2-qt casserole or baking dish. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2) In a 2-qt saucepan over medium heat, melt butter. Stir in flour, salt, onion powder, mustard, pepper, and hot sauce until smooth. Gradually stir in milk; cook until mixture boils, stirring constantly. Add 2 c. cheese and cook until melted. Adjust any seasoning you choose. Add sauce to macaroni. Pour into prepared casserole. Top with additional shredded cheese and crumble Cheez-Itz or Cornflakes.
3) Bake 30 minutes or until bubbling hot and lightly browned on top.

Serves 6

Make 2 batches together and freeze one for a quick meal. It's cheap, cozy, and perfect for a night on the couch, spring, summer, fall, or winter. The prep takes about 5 minutes with a good food processor for all that grating. It's nearly impossible to screw this one up. Enjoy!

A Verb Garden

If you're a friend of mine and a blogger, chances are that I check your blog every day in search of a new post. I've had a love affair with blogs for some time now. I enjoy finding that a friend has a new post on some detail of their life--a child's ABC song on video, a musing on their latest favorite page turner, pictures from Aix en Provence, a new recipe. Living in a new city with distant friends has finally brought me to do this. Again. The truth is that I had a blog in college and thoroughly enjoyed dumping all manner of personal garbage and acidic whine onto the virtual landfill of the blogosphere. This blog, however, will be more green than that of my college years.

But then, I'm still in college. I guess I will be forever if I stay in academia, but after every graduation, my life becomes a little more filled with light. It's less the high of a good grade that boasts, "You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggoneit, people like you." What further education has offered me, apart from the pleasure of geeking out for hours on end, is a way for Truth to infiltrate my mind and relationships. Light. Since my undergrad years, my first real experience with that light, I've learned how to be joyful. Ben Patterson used to say that "joy is being thankful for the things that God has given to you." This blog is being written in part because I've been given a lot--best of all, a husband who is REALLY good at joy. He giggles a lot. We're thankful.

So, here I am with a new blog, a new husband, new job, new school, new city. I've had an obscenely stressful year (heck--I had organs explode from it), and it's been my best. I'm excited to grow things with this blog: ideas, appetites, and friendships. Enjoy!