"And he fell on the ground and worshiped"

I spent last week with abused children at Santa Barbara County's Royal Family Kids Camp. This was my second year being a counselor at that camp, and the second year that my heart really broke over these little girls and boys who are, at the end of the day, just girls and boys. They squeal, want sugar, throw tantrums, collect creatures that slime, and revel in chlorinated cannonballs. They are also afraid of the dark, just like many children. But the visions they see in the night are much scarier than what most children might see (Disney villains, anyone?). My co-counselor, Kathi, and I would pray over their dreams with them every night. We would wake up to hear them whimpering or just sitting up in bed, wide awake. These children, aged 7-11 years old, all part of Santa Barbara County's foster care system, know suffering. Many of them will continue to have very hard lives.

I came back from camp, happy to have a warm shower and to sleep with just one other person in a quiet room. Carlos and I made it to Santa Barbara Community Church the Sunday after we returned to hear a sermon from Reed Jolley on suffering, rooted in the book of Job. The link to the sermon is here: http://sbcommunity.org/audio/2009-08-02.mp3. At the beginning of the message, Reed had us all repeat a passage from Job: "And he fell on the ground and worshiped." The message was excellent and got me thinking, though I didn't make a lot of personal application in the moment.

Satan asks God, "Does Job fear God for no reason?" That is, because Job is so blessed in money, family, friends, and health, that he has no reason not to worship. So, Satan decides to prove a point and test Job to show that people will curse God when they lose everything. And yet Job does not, after losing his health, family, and money. All he has left is God. His response is to say, "He gives and takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord." And he fell to the ground and worshiped.

Yesterday my family received news that my dad still has cancer, and that treatment from this point may involve an invasive and disfiguring neck dissection. I don't understand why this is happening or what will happen as a result, but I'm trying hard to embrace what I cognitively believe to be God's goodness. Suffering for my father or for those of us who love him, is not random, and it has a purpose. I trust in God's love, and I believe it's okay to feel horrible about this. I trust in a God who suffered to one day end all suffering. And so I fall to the ground and worship Him for his blessings at some times, and at least for his presence in others. He comforted Job, he comforts the little ones that I loved last week, and he will comfort me. The darkness is not as scary as it sometimes seems.