Signposts

My students are most funny with their written communication. Exams, papers, and quizzes often happen in clusters, which is why my blogs also occur in similar clusters. Hence, I offer you two in two days. I gave a very basic quiz today to my Public Speaking students, in which one of the questions was, "What is a signpost?" Now, a signpost is simply a verbal marker of a shift in topic (next, second, third, in conclusion). I encourage my basic students to use these until they master the art of spoken transitions (which they rarely do). I received several accurate answers to the question, but I here copy several of my favorites.

What is a signpost?

-"something you start and finish with"
-"a piece of something"

-"a gesture signifying an important point"

-"What is a signpost? Something that tells you what to do? Preferably on a sign?"

-"A signpost is a person/item you focus on during a speech to ease anxiety" (that's an anchor, and I got 2 of those responses)

And finally, the absolute best from my football player: "It's a position you hold to do autographs."

An introduction, as we know, sets the tone for a speech. It must be of high quality, or the rest of the speech may not be heard. Its function is to gain attention and credibility for the speaker, to introduce main points and a central theme, and to establish a clear direction and style. I'm not sure what to make of this one, from a student this semester:

(NB: I do not instruct my students to write "comic relief" as a subcategory of their speech outlines. This one seemed to do it quite naturally. Also, please note the thesis. This proposed thesis is, in fact, not a thesis.)

Attention Getter- I would like everyone to first picture yourself siting in a crowded waiting room outside of your doctors office. You’re reading an article in a magazine trying to pass the time until your doctor can see you. Then you start to notice that the lady sitting next to you starts breathing very deeply. Slow at first and then continues to breath more rapidly. You casually glance over and also notice that her legs are also trembling. Then all of a sudden you realize that the lady is having an orgasm. She becomes so aroused to the point where she has to get up and leave the waiting room.

Thesis - Little did you know that the lady who was sitting next to you suffers from an illness known as persistent sexual arousal syndrome.

Preview- Today I am going to talk with you about this persistent sexual arousal syndrome, specifically what the disorder is and what it physiologically entails, the psychological impact it causes, and also what can be done to cure this disorder.

Comic Relief- I know some of you are thinking that it’s not such a bad problem to have. But it can cause a great deal of distress to the people who have it.

Back to It

The first day of classes almost invariably involves going over the syllabus and staging introductions. I take a good bit of time to review my policies so that my students know what they're getting into, and despite every effort to be clear, I always get some good questions. In my Public Speaking section, I talk about dress clothes as a required material for the class. One should dress moderately nicely (business casual) on speech days. I usually detail what this might include for both men and women. I also talk extensively about attendance and tardiness and how that can affect both participation grades and final course grades. I specifically said, "If you can't get here on time because of work or some other conflict, you need to enroll in a different Public Speaking class. I do not appreciate having lectures or speeches interrupted because you didn't manage your schedule well enough."

I got a few questions after class, one of which was from a young ROTC kid in fatigues and combat boots who respectfully queried, "Ma'am, does this count as dress attire? Like, could I wear this on a speech day?" I smiled and told him that it would not be best, but that a dress uniform or civilian dress clothes would work. He countered with, "So, I couldn't wear this and just change out of my combat boots?"

The second question was from a woman dressed nicely (obviously from work) who came in about 5 to 10 minutes late. She asked, "I came in late," (Really?) "And I know you said that if work conflicts that we should transfer, but I was only 5 minutes late. Do you think that's a big deal? Should I try a few more times and see if it gets better?" I told her that I would prefer not to have the class disrupted, but that she could try one more time to see if she could finagle it better. If not, she would have to transfer classes. She responded, "Well, what if I just come into your office hours to make up any lost time? You could just explain to me what I missed."

This semester is off and running!

"To my friend, Morgan Freeman's voice"

Today is the last day of classes. (Sigh of relief!) I am pleased to report that my Public Speaking students finished off the semester in flames of glory. They gave special occasion speeches today, and they were HOT. I have never enjoyed watching a day of speeches so much. Normally I hear a lot of wedding toasts and generic commencement speeches during this unit, but apparently it is a good idea to follow up two lessons on communication and creativity with these fun speeches. Topics included:

-A lifetime achievement award presented to Morgan Freeman's voice.

-An acceptance speech of the prestigious rank of Order of Merlin, 1st class, especially thanking Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore (complete with a witch's costume, a wand, and a cape that was flourished to emphasize points)

-An acceptance speech for Supervillain of the Year (complete with makeup for Batman's nemesis, Two Face)

-An introduction of Miss Navajo Nation 2014

-A eulogy for Pat Tillman

-A toast in the form of a letter to a father who died 1 year ago today

I cried through the last speech. Since my dad was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago I have had a deep seated fear of losing one or both of my parents at any early age. This young lady is 19 years old and was brave enough to share a number of sweet memories of her father. This was a wonderful way to close a semester of fairly dry speeches. My belief in the creative capacity of Generation "Me" is temporarily restored!

It's not just my students...

Today's posting is from the content of a friend's Facebook.

She received this email today:

Hi Ms. B------, I was looking at my grade in com 100 and I did the 2 point EC survey and I won the Jeopardy so thats another point. I have a 68% but that is without the 3 extra points so i was wondering if i have a 71% in the class no matter what i get on the next test or not? if u could email me back that would be great so I can clarify my grade. Thanks

She posted the following:

This is an email I just received and there are a couple hilarious points. 1) I don't teach com 100. 2) This student is not now and has never been in any of my classes...

Something tell me he/she doesn't deserve the C.

Couples Therapy

I asked for creativity on a recent paper from my class. After having graded 100 of these papers and with 3 more to go, I got to the best one of the batch: a counseling session hosted by my student between Superman and Wonder Woman. The student cleverly paints Superman as an insecure and codependent geek and Wonder Woman as an overly independent and dismissive femme fatale. Here are a few excerpts:

Walking into his office, Bryan sees an incredibly fit woman wearing not much more than a golden tiara, gauntlets, and a red and blue spandex unitard. She is sitting in one of the two chairs opposite Bryan’s at his desk. She is looking over her shoulder and towards the corner, facing away from Mr. Man. He is a very large, muscular gentleman who also happens to be wearing red and blue spandex along with a large red cape. He is standing at the window, looking out. As he hears Bryan enter he turns around revealing a large S on his chest.

Mr. Man: Hello, my name is Superman, and this is my gir-

Woman: I can introduce myself. I’m Wonder Woman.

BB: Superman, please have a seat. What seems to be the problem?

Superman: Wonder Woman never listens to me. She never really seems to care about what I’m saying or what I’m feeling. She says she does, and she says she wants to be with me, but I-

Wonder Woman: You’re making a big deal out of nothing…

Superman: She never says ‘I love you’ and never listens to me.

BB: Yes, you mentioned that…

Superman: And she’s always so passive aggressive when we have arguments! I remember one time, we couldn’t agree on how to dispose of a giant, evil, atomic android, and when we got home she just started googling kryptonite, KNOWING I’d walk by!

Wonder Woman: Well you just HAD to have things your way with the robot- you couldn’t just let me deal with it on my own!

Superman: And you talk too fast!

Wonder Woman: I don’t talk too fast, you think too slowly!

At this point, Superman’s eyes are glowing red, Wonder Woman’s grip on the couch is ripping the fabric, and an inexplicable wind is violently spinning around the room, tossing papers and desk supplies to the different corners of the office.

"I love agreeing with people."

Every Tuesday and Thursday at 7:30am I see the bleary eyed faces of my Public Speaking kidlings. That's an early hour for a class, and I would certainly argue that it affects their energy level significantly. Most of my students in this class work part or full time (all but 2!), and take their classes early in the morning and late at night. I can't imagine doing college like that, and I have a new respect for the crappiness of their papers, which they often write on their breaks at work.

One of these students, Caitlin, is a real cute gal. She is perky, quirky, and a bit of an airhead--in an endearing sort of way. I very much enjoy her. In a lag between speeches today, she asked, "Are you friends with the teacher next door?" As it happens, I am. Ben and I did our Master's together. "Is he cool?" Yes. Definitely. Very cool guy. "Oh. Well, I was arguing with one of the students in his class about which one of you is cooler. She was saying that Ben is really cool and that you sound hard, but I was saying that you're really cool and that Ben sounds lame. I guess we were both right and cool people hang out with other cool people. I will tell her so tonight. I love agreeing with people."